the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
