Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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