This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
