I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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