you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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