he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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