This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
