what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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