my phone needs a breathalizer
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
