Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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