I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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