brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
