if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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