I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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