): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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