And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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