The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
