It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sober January is a disaster.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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