Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
