i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
