dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
