I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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