why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
