This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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