HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
