just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize