Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
