ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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