K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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