Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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