Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
