I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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