my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
