she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
