It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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