remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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