her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
