My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
