...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your face is a jimmy john
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
