The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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