I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
