I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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