If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize