it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
