I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
