i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
