If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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