So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
