Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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