Old men and throwing up are my life now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
