Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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