I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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