You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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