Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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