I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
