quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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