The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
