question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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