Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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