Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
