making cat noises will not fix the situation.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
