I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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