just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
