i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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